My last trip on a Beach Reach van this week was by far the worst one. We had a packed van--there must have been 14 or 15 people packed into a 12 passenger van--and it was no secret that no one was really comfortable.
Add on top of that the fact that all but 5 of us had been drinking and partying all night, and it makes for an interesting experience.
So here are the apologies I have to make:
To Jacob, the guy driving the van--I'm sorry that I jumped on your van to get a ride back to the hotel. I had been excited about actually having conversations instead of just driving, but it was obviously not the right time to do so.
To Conner, the Beach Reach guy in my row--I'm sorry that I separated you from the people you were supposed to be ministering to. That was not cool, and I apologize for effectively cutting off your chances at conversation.
To Mary, the Beach Reach girl in the row ahead of me--I'm sorry that I left you stranded when those two not-so-drunk but absolutely-so-belligerent guys decided to turn their crass conversations on you, backing you into a verbal corner and making you feel so uncomfortable.
To all of the Beach Reachers in the van--I'm sorry that I, as an adult sponsor and pastor, did not step up to deal with the problem before it got so out of hand. From the first few comments out of these gentlemen's mouths, it was obvious that they were trying to incite reactions from us and trying to bring us to their level. It should have been nipped in the bud, and because it wasn't, you did not have a chance to share the gospel like I know you wanted to.
To the other Spring Breakers in the van--I'm sorry that because of my inaction, you had to deal with that at the end of your night. These rides are about showing you a little taste of Christ's love, from the free trips home to the laid back conversations to the lack of condemnation no matter what your story is, and you didn't get to experience that--at least not in the way we intended.
To the two Spring Breakers who were causing the scene--I'm sorry that I was not up front with you. I'm sorry that my inaction led to your continued hurtful words and to others' growing scorn for you. Part of being a leader in the church is to stand up for what is wrong, not only for the sake of those being afflicted, but also for the sake of those doing the afflicting. I had a chance to show you what justice in love looks like, and I was too scared to do so. I was so worried about confrontation, so worried about saying the wrong thing, that I said nothing at all. And that absolutely was the wrong thing to say.
To Jesus--You gave your very life for me, and you set the example for me in how to interact with the world. You called me into leadership in your church, and gave me a voice to speak out against sin and brokenness. I failed to do this during the van ride, and for that I owe you, my Savior, an apology. Next time, I will try my hardest to muster up the courage it takes to confront in love, that even in correcting behavior, I might shine your light into the world.
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