What Am I Seeking? (AKA Riding the Wave of Life)

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all of these things will be given to you as well."
-Matthew 6:33

I have often felt--and said to many people--that my life is just one long surf after another. I just ride through life without ever really taking the time to figure out exactly where it is that I am going. There seems to be a master plan, and why fight it when I can instead enjoy the ride?

This has been used especially between one close friend of mine and myself to talk about my work ethic and educational drive. Because of my attitude about most things, it can easily come across like I do not work hard for my grades in school, that I tend to have great job opportunities fall from the sky, and that I do not really do anything to earn or deserve the good that comes to me. And while part of this is true--I am very blessed, beyond what I or anyone else realizes--I do work very hard and try to earn my place in both education and vocation.



Reading this Scripture lesson today, though, I realized that there is one aspect of my life where I have not been so easily drawn to riding the wave as I was before. My almost carefree attitude for the future and the direction that I am now traveling seemed to disappear during the summer before my last semester at TLU. I wanted to know the plan for the next chapter of my life. I wanted to have solidified and figured out. I wanted to control the wave.

It took me a while to figure out just why. As I was trying to figure out where I was going to attend seminary, Jess and I were also planning our wedding and getting ready to start our life together. As my campus pastor pointed out to me, it was no longer just me riding this surfboard through the wave of life. I had upgraded to a two-stander (not very practical on the water, but a great move in the ride of life!). It was no longer about what I was doing, but about what we were doing together.

And because of this, I stopped seeking first the Kingdom of God and the righteousness of God. I stopped praying about the future and placing it in God's hands. I tried to steer not only the surfboard, but the water itself.

This obviously did not change anything. God still did what God wanted done. The wave still left me where it would have anyways. The only difference was my struggling against it. Instead of enjoying the exhilarating ride as God had invited to, I fought against the current, was almost pulled into the undertow, and was left stressed and afraid.

Now, as Jess and I continue to talk about starting the process for adoption, I can feel myself tensing, readying myself to again jump off of that surfboard and into the water. Hopefully, this time, now that I know the signs, I can stop myself from slipping into that mode again. I can remember not to seek out the answers or the plan for our life together, but instead to seek out the Kingdom of God and the righteousness of God. Everything else will come behind that.

In the words of the Zac Brown Band, "enjoy the ride."

May you also remember your choice between riding the wave through life and struggling against it. May you remember that worrying and stressing about what the future holds only leads to you missing the wonderful things that are present around you now. May you remember to seek first God's Kingdom and righteousness, and let God take care of the rest. And may we all enjoy the ride we are on, because it is the only one we are given.

Amen.